winter shooting.

After church, I was driving down the road to my house and really wanted to take some winter photographs. When I told my mom, she said that she'd had the same idea for days.

sports & military.

Go cougars! I made this dress to wear to pep rallies. Okay, not really, but I love the way the darts on the bodice so formally express my school pride.

I'm loving wearing my new military bracelet and smelling like mens' Armani cologne all day. Oh man, I've never been this excited for a Valentine's Day in my whole life. . . and it's only less than a month away.

shout out to the broken-hearted.

When it comes to romance, everyone deserves to be completely and absolutely adored. Nobody should settle for less. I cannot tell you how much I mean this.

It's a necessary and wretched part of life to pursue someone who isn't as interested as you are; but as someone who's gone through this probably more than most I say: Get over it and dig deep to find what about yourself is lacking that compels you to carry on with that kind of rejection. Rid yourself of excuses about why the other person isn't fully exchanging your affections. Stop envisioning a future where they will adore you the way you think they possibly could.

I promise you'll be happier for it.

(I am writing this publicly to ensure that I see it again when I need it.)

i promise i do not like manga or anime.

Whitney once said: "Laura, you're the most Japanese person I know. You're more Japanese than Chip and he is half Japanese and he speaks Japanese."

Is it more nerdy that I felt slightly flattered?

I received an email from my sister today suggesting a destination for our next Barlow womens' retreat. She knew I'd be on board. There's no way I'm gonna make a trip to Japan any time soon, so here's the next best thing for a nerd like myself-- Hotel Tomo:
It's in Japantown in San Fransisco. It is completely Japanese themed. I felt really nerdy about how excited I was to go and then started thinking about how if you line up a lot of stuff that I like in a row, you could really get the wrong idea:

My favorite food is sushi.
My favorite fashion publication is FRUiTS.
(which documents Tokyo street fashion)
My favorite cartoon of all time is My Neighbor Totoro
My favorite t.v. show is Samurai Jack.

My favorite comedy is Kamikaze Girls.
But I also really want to own a pair of cowboy boots -- oh my gosh-- maybe that's really Japanese of me too...

complete mystery.

I am still afraid of the word "divorced" when it is attached to my name. I embrace the fact that I am divorced and feel enormous gratitude about being divorced, but it is still a heavy word and I'm not always sure how people will respond.

I was recently speaking with a group of people who didn't know I was divorced. We were catching up on some mutual past acquaintances:

"So, I heard that Emily is on her second."

"Oh, uh...really?"

"Yeah, it's too bad; I don't really know what happened with the first guy..."

I felt grateful when the topic changed.

As much as I have feared the reaction of old friends or acquaintances, I have feared the reaction of dating prospects to a much greater extent. I have an imagined scene that I've played out in my mind on more than one occasion:

I'm on a date with a guy, everything is going well, he doesn't know I'm divorced. The topic comes up and there's no way around it. I fidget, stammer, and once the word "divorced" has left my lips, he is speechless and isn't sure how to react externally. Internally he's thinking, how can I drop this girl off a.s.a.p. and indicate to her that she doesn't have a chance?

I know that I'm totally overreacting.

And that leads me to my next crazy point: I receive exponentially more male attention now that I'm divorced. And I'm comparing this not to when I was married (obviously) but to when I was single before.

My only question; WHY? It is a complete mystery to me. Is it because I am happier; more confident?

Most guys seems completely unphased by the "divorced" word in reality.
And especially because I feel undeserving of some of this male attention, I simply cannot wrap my brain around it.

how to make a dress form.

Follow this link.

I recommend a day when you're snowed in. We actually had a great time. Thanks Mim!

amazing.

2008 contained more than I ever could've possibly imagined. I'm being completely serious. I know that had I sat down on 01.01.08 and written down my fondest dreams, that all of them would have been surpassed by the incredible things that actually occurred throughout the course of the year.
But perhaps the most surprising discovery took place within the last few fractions of the calendar, just before the clock struck twelve: There are incredible men in the world who exceed all of your expectations.
And what's more? Some of them are still single.