blasting in the new year.

A collaborative piece I did with my 2 yr old niece, Mattie:
I guess it's time for some goal-making:

1. Figure out how to wear fake eye lashes.

2. Convince myself i'm getting better by kissing some boys (not too many) and feeling like I really mean it.

3. Graduate.

4. Blog at least once a month just so that the stuff i did last summer and the boys I dated 2 years ago look further away than they do right now.

5. Read even just one verse of scripture every day.

6. Lose weight by eating less and having it always be healthy ( i think i still won't have tons of time to exercise beyond riding my bike around.)

(I have listened to Joni Mitchell's "Blue" so many times I don't even have to stop it to write this because I know it so well I don't have to listen.)

Is it strange to feel so inspired by funerals? I attended the funeral of Whitney's grandmother I guess mostly because I believe in going to funerals and most especially because Whitney was asked to speak. She did a fantastic job. I wish I would've recorded it. She illustrated so clearly all the ways this woman I'd never met had had such a positive and profound influence on her life. Whitney Joy would've never been Whitney Joy without her grandmother, Joy Whitney.

Maybe the strangest thing about funerals is that I always just feel like I need to have kids afterward. I never really feel like having kids. It's always something I want for the future, but never for the present. Maybe the two will meet up some day. Maybe after somebody's funeral. Maybe I'll name her Joy.

some birthdays.

I haven't uploaded many photos lately. When I did this morning, there were only photos from Whitney's birthday in November and some that Mike Alger took at my birthday party on Saturday:

shout outs.

Maybe there's something I've forgotten to clarify in my 1.5 years of regular blogging:

I became very isolated and lonely when I was married. As much as I naturally love to talk, most of my thoughts never reached my lips because my life had become something I had to hide from everyone.

The happiest and most glorious moment of my life was when I was driving away from my marriage. I humored so many thoughts of reconnecting with others. I imagined myself being Whitney's roommate. I imagined sitting for hours speaking with my mother. It felt like I was flying.

I called this blog socialexplosion because I'd been pent up and held back for so long that the inertia of my desire to socialize felt like a breaking dam or a bomb.

There are a few people in particular who withstood the power of my social force with love, patience, and strength:

The first is my mother. She received me with open arms and fulfilled all of the dreams I carried of reconnecting with her. I am late to school most mornings but it is not because I am dawdling. I am talking with her. It's a routine I just can't give up. I tell her all about my life as she's preparing my lunch and we always get a bit carried away. There's a lot of love in the mornings at our house.

The second is Whitney. Whitney guided me back into the world of singles with grace and confidence. I needed her and she knew it. I've never had a happier summer than the one I spent with Whitney.

The third is Mike Alger. I met Mike at midnight at an ihop for a Kohler's co-worker gathering that Whitney took me to. He said he was interested in film so I whipped out my foreign film knowledge. Mike doesn't even watch foreign films. But he listened and listened and somehow we exchanged numbers. He's been listening graciously ever since.

The last and certainly not least are my siblings. Although most of them don't live around here, their gestures of forgiveness and love have been some of the most tender. There's been Spanish help at midnight, long letters illustrated with cartoons, nail-painting, long phone calls, and g-chatting from the middle-east in a war zone about my latest dating news. My siblings fortify and lift me.

even greater joy.

Whitney just made me this and my joy increased twenty-fold:("Bofta" means good luck in Romanian.) For more awesome Whitney graffiti, click here.

laura meets pop.

"When I watch this video, I think,'Why am I wearing pants?'"
- Whitney Orton
I know I'm way late in the game, but seriously, I can't get enough of this.

end of summer cinema.

I never watch movies. It's just so expensive and time consuming. The only movies I've seen this whole year (2) were when Whitney took me to see "Valkyrie" and when Jared took me to see "Up." But now there are all of these movies I want to see coming out all at once!

I am making it a goal to watch all of these. It may take me a while, but I'll do it. Let me know if you want to join me and we'll make a pact to watch one of them together.

1.Julie & Julia. I received recommendations from Jared and Miriam back to back on this film last night. I'm pretty excited about it now.(click on the image for the trailer.)

2. Still Walking. By my favorite director, Kore-Eda Hirokazu. I've been yearning to see something like this for so long! Japanese films can take me somewhere American films never could.(click on the image for the trailer.)

3.Ponyo! By my other favorite director, Hayao Miyazaki. But I must watch it in Japanese with English subtitles. The English-speaking versions of his films have always been dreadful, in my opinion.(Where is the little boy singing this so I can squeeze him?! Cute!! I may try to learn the words to this.)

knew i was right.

"I'm headed up to Provo."
"You mean DOWN to Provo?"
Whitney is a drafter and this mistake cannot go uncorrected. In her mind north is up and south is down. The notion of going "down" to Salt Lake is likewise deemed ridiculous.
But after years of being corrected on this issue (ever since the mint house days) I discovered that I am right.

Salt Lake City: 4,226 ft. above sea level

Provo: 4,549 ft. above sea level

facebook.

I am so happy that people can't track their page stats on facebook.I got this awesome pic of Mary Wollenzein off Whitney's facebook page and am now posting it to my blog.

major confession.

I saw this movie with Whitney, Mary, and Natalie last night.

Natalie's brother works at a theater where he can get people in for free, so we basically chose what seemed to be the worst option possible-- counting on Whitney and Mary's sarcastic whit to carry us through to the end.

During the previews, a row of women sitting directly behind us were laughing uniformly at every obvious/cliche joke. I turned to Whitney.

"Seriously, I don't get people like this at all. It's so weird that they laugh at everything they're supposed to. It makes me feel like I don't understand the world."

"I know exactly what you mean. I've totally thought that before."

Maybe it's the fact that I haven't seen a formulaic Hollywood movie like this in years; maybe it's the fact that I've found this new ability to chill out and stop analyzing everything as a piece of art; but I loved "Bride Wars." We all did.

Half way through the movie, (yes, I'm using the word "movie" instead of "film") Whitney turned to me.

"I'm glad that we've totally turned into those weird people who laugh at everything."

"Oh my gosh, I know."

Of course there were ridiculous things about it. One of lead characters who happens to be a powerful lawyer is marrying a hedge fund manager. They all had perfect skin and hair and bodies. A lot of the quips felt really scripted. It was sooo Hollywood.

But sitting in that dark theater with those girls last night, I found myself contently in its clutches. It was wonderful.

analysis.

Whitney's good friend, Naomi, agreed to analyze my handwriting. The analysis of handwriting is actually called graphology. I've never met Naomi before, so it was fun to write a pen-pal type stranger (she is one of my newest friends) and it made me really curious about the results, as they were unbiased.

I decided to post the results in my handwriting-- it just seemed to make sense:Of course I like the results, as they are mostly complimentary. Some of them seem stunningly accurate. I even agree with the less favorable parts.

The only thing that I only partially agree with is that I try to hide a part of myself by writing in all caps. I started writing in all caps in the eighth grade certainly with that intention, but at this point, it's been a habit for over ten years. I don't even know how to write naturally in lower case letters anymore.

There is an admitted narcissism to personality tests and horoscopes that attracts me. I think it is so fun to (a.) see how accurate you think the test is and (b.) attempt to see yourself from an outside perspective.

Thanks Naomi!

new hobby.

As someone who has waved real signs protesting the Iraq war (the pic above is actually from a friend's surprise birthday party), it has been entertaining to collect the reactions of people who are catching word that I am dating a military guy.

When Whitney heard, she took me to see the movie, Valkyrie. She said that she loved good stories about good men trying to save the world.

I recently told some married friends about my news:

"Oh my gosh! We just barely saw Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2. There's this girl in it who falls in love with a male model in her figure drawing class. I automatically thought of you and said something about how maybe that could be a dating strategy you could use... yeah, military... whoa, I never saw that coming."

I even try to even break it down gently for others who I think might feel particularly surprised. This was my method with my German friend (who tends to be a more left-leaning pacifist):

"So what is he like?"

"Uh, he speaks German; he actually lived in Germany for a while..."

"Oh, great!"

"Yeah, he actually also speaks French and Spanish...and he graduated from BYU in microbiology...

"Cool, cool..."

"And he's also serving in the military..."

"Oh...now that's, uh...different."

My brother (who's the Navy doc) explained, "Laura, if you're gonna date a military guy, you've gotta start learning some military vernacular." And then we talked for an hour just about how the military ranking systems work.

Yeah, I'll confess that there's a little culture shock involved for me. Even though this is just a paintballing pic, the whole feel of it strikes me as completely foreign (Josh is the one on the left):But as I've considered a relationship with a military guy, I've actually come to the conclusion that I may be well suited to it.

When I was married to someone with mental illness I joined NAMI (The National Alliance on Mental Illness), volunteered, taught classes, attended support groups, read every book on Bipolar Disorder that I could possibly find (I am seriously an expert now), kept updated on new research and medications, and did my best to ensure that my spouse was receiving the best possible care that he had access to.

I think I can continue to demonstrate that kind of loyalty and support although the circumstances are different.

Furthermore, no matter how left-leaning I may be, I absolutely believe that the United States needs a military and that the military should be operated and run by quality people with a sincere desire to serve.

Here's a quote from the bottom of Josh's facebook page that sums up my sentiments (and probably Whitney's too):

We sleep safe in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would do us harm.
-George Orwell

Scary, but true.

I am likely to register as a Republican any time soon?
Nope.

i promise i do not like manga or anime.

Whitney once said: "Laura, you're the most Japanese person I know. You're more Japanese than Chip and he is half Japanese and he speaks Japanese."

Is it more nerdy that I felt slightly flattered?

I received an email from my sister today suggesting a destination for our next Barlow womens' retreat. She knew I'd be on board. There's no way I'm gonna make a trip to Japan any time soon, so here's the next best thing for a nerd like myself-- Hotel Tomo:
It's in Japantown in San Fransisco. It is completely Japanese themed. I felt really nerdy about how excited I was to go and then started thinking about how if you line up a lot of stuff that I like in a row, you could really get the wrong idea:

My favorite food is sushi.
My favorite fashion publication is FRUiTS.
(which documents Tokyo street fashion)
My favorite cartoon of all time is My Neighbor Totoro
My favorite t.v. show is Samurai Jack.

My favorite comedy is Kamikaze Girls.
But I also really want to own a pair of cowboy boots -- oh my gosh-- maybe that's really Japanese of me too...

¡más snowboard!

Snowboarding for the first time was amazing.

On my second run, Whitney and I grabbed one another's matching coats so that we were facing each other and snowboarded in tandem. We carved together and I went faster than I could've on my own. I felt like I got a taste of what it was like to really snowboard. Although I could hear my squealy laugh echo through the canyon, I couldn't stop.

I cannot wait to go again soon despite my aching legs.

On another note... I am going to deny myself of all treats starting tonight. I've always said that if Mormons practiced Lent that I would choose to deny myself of chocolate. It is my one addiction. Why not wait until the new year?

No excuses. I mean business.

(Oh. And why did I add the ad? My sister made $60 off hers. I'm a starving college student...)

$10 hotel room & viva las vegas.

When I told people that I was staying in a $10 hotel room in Las Vegas, everyone wanted to know what it was like:




When the rest of the gals arrived, the extravagance began:





3 generations.
Truth be told, I do not love Las Vegas. But I would go almost anywhere to have the opportunity to spend time with my female relatives.

My ability to appreciate female relationships has added a depth and meaningfulness to my life that I never anticipated or even hoped to find.

I used to always need a boy present in social situations to make them seem worth it. Somehow I felt unfulfilled without that possibility for romance, excitement, or a boost to my ego. I viewed other females as competitors and compared myself relentlessly. I am eternally grateful to have grown out of such immaturity and selfishness.

If I never get married again, I know that my female relationships will be enough for me to be happy.

romanian christmas wish.

My beautiful, bi-lingual, best friend; Whitney; wishing you all a Merry Christmas in Romanian. I helped her with some of the photoshopping and it got saved to my desktop. I couldn't resist.

25: the beginning of the rest of my life.

My birthday was on Friday night. It was probably the absolute best birthday of my life. Here's a list of highlights:

Whitney let me ride her bike during Critical Mass (just a massive bikeride that happens once a month in Provo):


Then I went to the opening of the art show that I made the chickens for:Karisa made the best carrot cake I've ever tasted and brought it to the art opening in honor of my birthday.

Then we (all of my family who lives in Utah and my friends Whitney, Mike Alger, Nate, Mark, Mary, and Lauren) all walked to the local Indian restaurant and enjoyed dinner. They all said one thing they loved about me as they passed my toki-doki cell phone charm around the table. My emotions ranged from laughing to crying.



Perhaps what Mark said was the most notable:
"What I love about Laura is that no matter how dramatic my life seems, her drama can always trump mine."


Then we made this exodus in lots of different cars to my parents' house for cake and ice cream. I rode with Mike Alger along with Mary and Lauren:

Mike: Sorry guys, my heater takes forever to warm up. But I have two blankets back there.

Mary: Oh good. I'm so cold.

Mary starts wrapping herself up in the blankets as I'm giving directions to Mike about where we're headed.

Mike: ...So Laura, right here? ...Oh yeah, you might wanna watch out for the red blanket though. I think I saw a clump on it or something.

Laura: A clump? What does that mean?! (Mike's car is kind of noisy) Mary, watch out, Mike says he saw a clump on the red blanket back there.

Mary: A clump? You mean on this red blanket I'm swaddled in?

I couldn't stop laughing. Also I think that Mary just stayed all swaddled up in that clumpy blanket. It was the joke of the night for me.

The chocolate cake my mom made was divine.

My brother, Carl, gave me the kid's book Preztel (a childhood favorite of mine) and everyone humored me by allowing me to read it to them.

We did fortune telling games and stayed up late.

Me, Mary, and Whit all had a fabulous sleepover full of girl talk and went out to breakfast in the morning.

My only question: How does life get better than this? And I'm being completely serious.

indesign!

My Indesign assignment is ready to be turned in for class, but not fully complete. Most of the text is just filler-- placeholder text. That's fine for my teacher, but I want to make copies for Nate and the Ortons as Christmas gifts with real text. So, if any of you have advice on how to watch "Grey's Anatomy" like a man (or any other good jokes,) please send them my way.

Or if you know how to make the picture bigger, that would help too.

prodigal daughter.

(I drew Whitney in church today.)

Alone time is overrated.

When I cut my mullet off this morning, Miriam was there to straighten the hairline on the back of my neck with scissors and Mom was there to vacuum off my shoulders.
Right now I need someone to stand on my ruler so that I can tear my over-sized piece of drawing paper in a straight line (but everyone is at church.)

I cannot describe how much I've enjoyed the company of my family while they've been visiting for Thanksgiving.

We had a lesson on the parable of The Prodigal Son in church today and I couldn't help but think of my own prodigal-ness. Not one of my siblings has been jealous or resentful or angry about my parents' figurative killing of the fatted calf upon my return.

Every moment spent in the company of my family feels absolutely joyful as being in their collective presence reminds of that fact.

I cannot wait for the time when we will all be happily gathered in the same room.

if bush was your roommate.

This video takes me straight to 2003; the Proulx family front room; middle-of- nowhere-Amish-country Pennsylvania. In that house full of liberals I think I laughed so hard I cried. Even Whitney (who was in no way anti-Bush) joined in on the fun. We watched it over and over and over again. I don't think I ever got sick of watching it. Maybe it was just hearing Caleb's hearty laugh coupled with his predictable outburst of knee-slapping. Such great times. Such a great piece of personal nostalgia. Some cell pics from that trip (me & whit):

would i date you?

So I followed the link on Wayne's blog and couldn't resist posting the results myself:

Your dating personality profile: Religious - Faith matters to you. It is the foundation that you build your life upon. You trust that God has a plan for you. Liberal - Politics matters to you, and you aren't afraid to share your left-leaning views. You would never be caught voting for a conservative candidate. Adventurous - Just sitting around the house is not something that appeals to you. You love to be out trying new things and really experiencing life.

Your Top Ten Traits 1. Religious 2. Liberal 3. Adventurous 4. Intellectual 5. Athletic 6. Big-Hearted 7. Practical 8. Traditional 9. Outgoing 10. Stylish

Your date match profile: Shy - You are put off by people who are open books. You are drawn to someone who is a bit more mysterious. You want to draw him out of his shell and get to know what he is all about. Religious - You seek someone who is grounded in faith and who possesses religious values. You believe that a religious person can enhance your life. Practical - You are drawn to people who are sensible and smart. Flashy, materialistic people turn you off. You appreciate the simpler side of living.

Your Top Ten Match Traits 1. Shy 2. Religious 3. Practical 4. Intellectual 5. Traditional 6. Adventurous 7. Big-Hearted 8. Athletic 9. Wealthy/Ambitious 10. Stylish

Take the Dating Profile Quiz at Would I Date You
I don't know how much I trust these quizzes. (They certainly can't determine which gender Whitney is,) but my curiosity always seduces me into taking them.