deliberation.

I have described myself as having an "intense" personality. While I still believe this is true, I've thought of a more detailed or accurate way to explain it.
I am a deliberate person. A calculated person.
I'm constantly weighing and evaluating the implications and effects of my actions.

This may be best illustrated by my kissing record. I have kissed ten boys in my life and I'm not proud of it. Only two are what I would consider "rape" kisses or kisses completely against my will. Preceding all of the other 8 kisses was an hour< (longer) discussion of what the consequences would be if "we" kissed. I guess I could say I've missed out on a lot of cute/ romantic moments.

I think other people think, "Hey, I wanna kiss you+ you wanna kiss me+ we both like each other= lets kiss." And then without saying it out loud, they tuck some shiny long hair behind a delicate ear, or slide a hand behind a neck, move in closer, and go for it. Right?

I admittedly sometimes regret this aspect of my personality simply because it seems that others may have more fun. Whitney explains the decision to shave her head during high school like this: She's hanging out with her friends and they are feeling crazy. Someone says, "Let's shave a head!" and she says, "I have a head!" Done.

Being someone who has shaved my head before, I describe it much more has an action that breeds excitement because I'm feeling all of the implications of it at once. I'm understanding how much I'm defying cultural norms and I'm loving getting away with it. I'm wondering what people will think. I'm feeling powerful, in a way. The first time I shaved my head, my hands shook as the clumps of hair dropped to the floor.

Ultimately, I don't regret being like this. Although I never have the excuse that I "lost control," I prefer the alternative. I don't tend to do things that I would deem unwise.
Conversely, I have made many bad decisions in my life, and they tend to be enduring because I've reasoned myself into thinking that those bad decisions are decent-- or at least okay.