back from the dead.

Provo haunts me. Not so much BYU campus; Adam and I only went there together a few times and I always felt like a foreigner with him there anyway. It's the grocery stores, the shops, the boutiques, the restaurants; the streets where we longboarded. They feel spooky, like they should be covered with decay, like there should barbed-wire fences propped up around the spots where my most painful memories occurred. Sometimes I recognize my own irrational amazement that everything looks exactly the same here.

I moved back on Friday. Instead of buying a new car after my head-on collision, I've decided to walk to BYU campus everyday from a remote location.

I am moving 15 miles away from my mother's delicious vegetarian cuisine (that she so lovingly prepares just for me.) I am moving 15 miles away from the snowy fields that greet me on my way home. I am moving 15 miles away from the chickens that sleep in the lilac bush outside my window. I am moving 15 miles away from the only place I knew to go when I had nothing.

It will be okay. I will make new memories here to replace the old ones.


heidikins said...

This is beautiful; heartbreaking but beautiful.

Good luck, darling.


Carroll said...

I loved having you Laura. I really think that God is in charge here. There is purpose in all things. Very little comes from coincidence. Keep plugging away with integrity and virtue and hard work. Things will be great! Home is always here.

Cambrie said...

I hope you have a good time living in provo. There is so much opportunity to be had there. Enjoy it. I hope you have good roommates.