B for Barlow.

There is am image of something I saw on the subway that will not leave my mind: An older woman, wearing a wig and a rosy complexion who stepped on the B train with her middle-aged daughter who possessed the same coloring. They had the same round lips and blue, deep-set eyes and carried shopping bags in their identical wirey fingers. They sat their bags down on the floor and spoke happily with their hands in close proximity to one another's faces the entire way home. It was love, pure and simple, and it filled the entire subway car.

It is an obvious fact that we cannot pick who we are born to, and who is born to those people along with us. But after many several ins and outs with family members throughout the span of my life, it has also become just as obvious a fact that we must love those who were given to us in the best way we can; regardless of religion, politics, sexual orientation; and even in the face of things they've done and said to directly offend us. Sometimes it feels outside the realm of possibility to do, depending on the circumstance, but I feel that makes it no less important.

I am so grateful for my present family. And I feel the loss of those I knew as family when I was married.


Carroll said...

In your case, I think you did choose. If so, I am so grateful that you chose the way you did. I am very privileged. Some how in the scheme of things, I don't think there are any accidents. My family is woven into the very fiber that makes me, including those that I do and do not share blood with. I agree at times it is hard and heart breaking. It has something to do with mortality and trials. It is your family that will take you to your knees in your promised Gethsemane. And yet I remember that the things that are of the absolute most value don't come easily, but they are so worth it!

Alisa said...

You probably don't remember me, but i am a cousin of Adam's on the Romney side. I met you once at a family reunion in Island Park for my grandparent's 50th wedding anniversary, and i remembering thinking how cute and nice you were and how i wanted to get to know you better. Because of circumstances i never really got to, but i just wanted to tell you that you are inspiring to me and i think you are a very strong and amazing woman. I came across your blog i think because we have a mutual friend, Mike Alger. Well, we're really just aquaintances, but he was in my group i traveled to china with to teach english last year. I thought it was a cool coincidence that you knew him too! I am also a graphic design student, transferred to BYU from BYUI. I have seen you sometimes in the HFAC, but never really knew if you remembered me haha. I admire your work you do, and wish you luck as you are probably close to graduating. I bet your internship is a lot of fun and great experience, I love NY as well! Anyways, sorry for the rambling, but i just wanted 'introduce' myself again to you and tell you that while we may not be technically family anymore, i admire you and have enjoyed getting to know you better through your blog. Hopefully i will see you around the HFAC in the future :)

laura said...

I do recognize you from the HFAC. Thank you so much for your kind comments. They mean more than you know. I also hope we run into one another sometime soon.