intense.

Yes. I am an intense person. I am remembering more and more what I meant when I first verbalized it that way so many years ago. I tried to talk myself out of this fact in an earlier blog entry, but it remains true. Being intense does not mean that I am merely deliberate or calculating. It means that I am intense regarding everything I am interested in. In some ways, I think it's a good quality.

For example, I think I've become a skilled seamstress entirely due to my intense nature. It was my dream to be able to design anything I wanted and have the skills to see it materialize. It was my dream to have a "This I Believe" essay published, and I worked as hard as I could for long hours to make it happen. I think with almost everything I'm good at, it's not so much that I'm full of natural ability, but that I get intensely interested.

But of course, above all, my most favorite thing is people; and my most favorite activity is communication. Lately, all kinds of communication. Email, chatting, phone; of course face to face is my favorite.
The only thing that distracts me from all of my other intense interests is people, and especially people that I adore.

Everyone who knows me knows that I love my little brother, Michael, to the point that I'm doing well to finish speaking about the nature of our relationship with dry eyes.
Whitney's own sister once made a statement like, "to adore Whitney more than Laura would be unhealthy."
And anyone who knows me, knows that I absolutely adore Mike Alger. Not to mention Caleb, Meri, Magnus, Zina, the Vuissas. . . the list could go on and on, and I'm not even getting into the rest of my family members.

The only problem with my intense nature, is that I think it freaks some people out. Conversations with me can often turn into interview questions that can feel reminiscent of a therapy session.

Really, I'm okay with somewhat awkward social exchanges, but I am not okay with people feeling pressured. More than one person in my life has abruptly ended our friendship, because they can't take the love. I guess they think that my intense adoration means that I think we have to be best friends, or lovers, or something. Really, there are way too many people that I adore to make them all best friends or lovers.

I just love the people I love soooo much. That's all there is to it. I've often wished for a naturally indifferent personality, but it's just not gonna happen. Please don't get freaked out.

(how could you not love this guy?)