3.19.2010

natural triumph.


I don't remember using the locker room in high school. It's possible I avoided taking all P.E. classes that involved such an uncomfortable place. Maybe I just changed my clothes in a large bathroom stall intended for people in wheelchairs.

I do distinctly remember using the locker room in 7th grade. If I were standing in Mountain Ridge Jr. High School right now, I'm pretty sure I could walk to the exact locker I used. It was two rows up and 3 from the right. I'd heard locker room horror stories my whole life about kids getting beat up and having their anatomy made fun of from my older siblings. I'm pretty sure that reading R.L. Stein's "Cheerleader Evils" series didn't help either. It was a scary place even though I can't remember one unkind or scary thing actually happening there.

I had occasional rashes then that grew out from the crook of my left arm. In the same year I developed some sort of oozing sore on my neck as well as the first signs of breasts. It was emotionally sensitive to have to change from a training bra into a sports bra (which was pretty much the same thing.) And although I probably weighed only 90 lbs, I felt like a mammoth compared to the girls who only weighed 80.

Then there were the team sports that followed changing: Football, basketball, soccer. I'd never played these games before and everyone seemed to assume that everyone else automatically knew all the rules. I'd hoped that like in all my other classes that if I simply didn't talk I'd be left alone; but P.E. required participation. I dreaded it in a daily basis and muffled my way through running, kicking, hitting, and catching enough to get a grade.

Now I voluntarily shower in a locker room at least twice a week after swimming in a class of all males and change into/out of a swimsuit in front of other girls with no issue or hestitation.

How happy I am to have grown up.

2 comments:

whit said...

U.P.!

Hilary-Dilary-Dock said...

I know! Isn't that weird now we lose our inhibition? I gave birth 100% naked, spread eagle, for everyone to see! I never thought that possible!