hopeful.

I often declare out loud how happy I am to be divorced. I have never regretted it.
But there are those rare occasions when I remember how heartbreaking the demise of my marriage really was.

It is sometimes difficult to remember because it happened steadily and surely, day after day as even the smallest marital exchanges seemed to malfunction; each malfunction triggering steady doses of pain.

Watching my brother parent his one-day-old son somehow brought those painful emotions forward. The love for his wife and son felt so evident and natural as a reverent feeling of peace permeated their small apartment.

It reminded me that there is nothing that I crave more in this world than to enjoy a happy marriage and to be a mother.

I desperately hope that my future attempts will not be so futile as those in my past.