"A Tree Grows in Brooklyn" has got me thinking so much about the natural differences between genders. Here's a recent conclusion I've come to: I admire the camaraderie among men, but it's not for me.

For example, Jared has this big group of guy friends in New York who lovingly call themselves "The Fellowship." They get together for rounds of "Ticket to Ride," movies, day trips, visits to historical sites, sleepovers, and tacos. It could seem a little silly until you recognize how deeply these men share in one another's lives. There's a lot of love and support going on that they truly buoy one another up with.

In all honesty, sometimes I can feel just a little bit jealous. This isn't to say that I don't have amazingly loving and supportive friends, but I have a theory that females aren't as apt to experience this type of group friendship.

I've always found it interesting that in the verses on charity it says, "charity seeketh not her own" because I think this is what we, as women, have a very natural tendency to do. We are built to carry, nurse and raise babies. We are meant to look after our own. I think one of the most thoughtful questions you can ask a mother is how her children are doing.

The way that women express friendship to one another is often by helping one another look after their own. We watch one another's children or share good deals on bulk peanut butter at the grocery store. We lend a pair of shoes that will make the interview outfit complete or listen closely about the boyfriend situation. It seems to me that in female relationships, we often express love by helping one another out with the parts of our lives that we are living separately from one another.

In male friendships, it seems like one guy to another could express love by just being. I've seen men bond by sitting side by side in silence playing video games or fishing. Somehow, in that act of being, a friendship is forged. Other aspects of life seem to be left behind while the time is spent together.

I'll be the first to admit that as much as I can sometimes envy that sort of relationship, I'm simply ill-equipped to have one of my own. That's one of the reasons I blog. I love to discuss every immediate thing going on in my life. Analyzing with others is my favorite activity and I enjoy doing it one-on-one the very most. I love to plan, prepare, discuss, vent, and problem-solve.
But I do think I'll make a really good wife and mother someday.


heidikins said...

I love this.


whitney joy said...

I think this is why I always preferred hanging out with the boys. I am such a wannabe.

laura said...

i thought of you so much as i was writing this, actually.

mustdestroyalltraces said...

i'm offended i wasn't invited to the pictured lunch.

like, seriously. furious.