clothes.

(a model wearing my wig, boots, and a dress I designed.)My mother always let me get away with wearing whatever I wanted.
There were of course the wigs, particularly the black, pulp-fiction-style one I wore everyday during the last 3 months of high school. There were my velvety bell-bottoms, the fur coats, and the bright pink $6 second-hand dress I wore to prom. There were my initial experimental sewing disasters; things so ugly I should've never walked out the door.
But if my mom were here, reading this post over my shoulder as I typed, she would say:

"But you always seemed to be expressing yourself. If you would've been trying to dress immodestly or fit in with a certain crowd, I would've worried."

Ah, the numerous blessings of a culturally unconventional mother. (I can't imagine the repercussions on my life if I'd been born to someone concerned with maintaining and upholding status-quo.)

I've developed a habit of dressing meticulously. I dress according to weather, mood, event, who I'll be seeing that day, and how I feel around them. I typically change something about what I'm wearing every morning at least once as I give it more thought.
It's about more than appearing to be "cool" or even presentable. It's become a way of navigating through life, an outward identity to which I've given a lot of thought and effort; a mix of aesthetic design, utility, and expression.

Maybe it's my immersion into the BYU art department, but I've been feeling somewhat exposed in terms of my dressing habits in front of all these people who pay attention to visual detail as much as I do. Not a day goes by that someone doesn't comment on something I'm wearing. And it's not always something like, "I love your scarf." These people are perceptive. They read me. I feel like they know why I chose the black leg warmers or the yellow shoes. Everyone wanted to know the "real" reason I shaved my head when I did it.

It's not like I'm going to change; I don't even know if I'm capable of changing. But it admittedly throws one more factor in the equation when I'm dressing myself in the mornings.

tennis = skirt.

I made a deal with my little brother that I would learn to play tennis while he was on his mission. He is amazing at tennis and needs someone around to at least hold a game.
I agreed and haven't thought much about it until I registered for my spring term classes today. I considered the possible cost of equipment and felt a little hesitant until I remembered the overall aesthetic of the game. In what other sport do the women get to wear skirts? Good thing I have an excuse to adopt the style.
Let's just say, with the Adidas Stella McCartney line out, I wish I had thousands of dollars to spend on tennis equipment.
I hope I get good enough to justify an attractive tennis get-up someday. Maybe I'll have to make one for myself.
Can you tell I'm not a natural athlete?

not all that disappointed.

Remember this post? Or this one?
Yeah, I auditioned for Bravo's replacement of "Project Runway" and got really far. They flew me out to LA. I signed a contract. I ate a $25 sandwich through room service on their tab.
I've been dying to blog about it for the last 3 months, but was supposed to keep it a secret. My final interview in LA happened about a month ago. They said I'd be informed of the final decision in a couple of days. Then they said I'd hear in a week, then in 2 weeks.

Someone from the production studio finally called yesterday:

"Sorry, but you weren't selected. Laura, we loved you and pushed so hard for you, but the network made the final decision. Sorry.
But we'll be thinking of you when season 2 comes up."

Maybe they tell everyone that?
Of course I've speculated all of these reasons why it took so long to receive my answer. Like, what if one of the network producers hates all Mormons after Prop 8? I don't know, maybe they're convinced that goodie-goodie girls like me don't make interesting television.

Either way, I'm totally okay with it. Not getting on means:

I get to keep my scholarship.

I don't have to withdraw from my classes (and then re-take them later.)

I get to start a new TA position at BYU where I work with visiting artists and take them to galleries.

I get to quit my job.

I don't have to worry about getting in trouble with BYU's honor code in regard to housing. (There was talk of possible mixed gender housing on the show.)

I don't have to go without communication with family and friends (and Josh) for 6 wks. (They make it a rule on all reality shows that you can't.)

I'm not gonna pretend like it wasn't a really exciting opportunity, but my life is plenty exciting without it. I still think I might be the luckiest girl on the planet.

the virtue of heels.

So, like I was saying in an earlier entry, I recently bought my first pair of high heels. I first tried them on at DSW, mostly out of curiosity, in front of my sisters and my mom. I wanted to see if I could really walk in them. I was feeling a little self-conscious about the overt sexiness of what was on my feet, but everyone seemed to think they were great.

"You totally pull them off," said Marie.

"They look so feminine," said Miriam.

"I think that guys are gonna like those," said my mom.

"Thanks... I love how streamlined the shape is," I replied.

The first guy I showed them to was Mike Alger. I just opened the box and shoved the tissue paper aside.

"Yeah, so it's like my first pair of heels." I thought he might laugh.

"I've gotta say, for a pair of heels, those are pretty awesome."

I wore them a lot at first, for practice walking.
Even my brother complimented the way my legs looked. At church, a guy asked me what leg exercises I did do get my calves to look like that.

"None; it's just the heels. I'm not really used to wearing them."

From a design perspective, heels elongate your legs and make them looked toned. This is, in its own way, really practical. People have known this forever. I feel a little silly that it took me so long to get it.

King Louis XIV had it figured out. Check out this guy's legs... it's certainly more than I'm willing to show.

sports & military.

Go cougars! I made this dress to wear to pep rallies. Okay, not really, but I love the way the darts on the bodice so formally express my school pride.

I'm loving wearing my new military bracelet and smelling like mens' Armani cologne all day. Oh man, I've never been this excited for a Valentine's Day in my whole life. . . and it's only less than a month away.

i promise i do not like manga or anime.

Whitney once said: "Laura, you're the most Japanese person I know. You're more Japanese than Chip and he is half Japanese and he speaks Japanese."

Is it more nerdy that I felt slightly flattered?

I received an email from my sister today suggesting a destination for our next Barlow womens' retreat. She knew I'd be on board. There's no way I'm gonna make a trip to Japan any time soon, so here's the next best thing for a nerd like myself-- Hotel Tomo:
It's in Japantown in San Fransisco. It is completely Japanese themed. I felt really nerdy about how excited I was to go and then started thinking about how if you line up a lot of stuff that I like in a row, you could really get the wrong idea:

My favorite food is sushi.
My favorite fashion publication is FRUiTS.
(which documents Tokyo street fashion)
My favorite cartoon of all time is My Neighbor Totoro
My favorite t.v. show is Samurai Jack.

My favorite comedy is Kamikaze Girls.
But I also really want to own a pair of cowboy boots -- oh my gosh-- maybe that's really Japanese of me too...

fashion shoot.

yup. I made these clothes. Nate took the pictures.

photoshop!

Just in time for halloween. And once again, compliments of Karisa Price. I could've never done this without her help.


It looks better bigger, but I'm certainly no expert.

i'm it too.

Okay, so Marie tagged me. I'm supposed to post 7 random things about myself and then tag 7 other people to do the same.
In classic Laura passive-aggressive style, I will post the 7 random things myself, but I refuse to tag anyone else. I accept whatever bad luck that may come as a result.

1. Favorite color

2. Recently fell in love with this scent. If anyone wants to indulge me for my birthday or christmas...


3. Dream jobs:

Stay at home mom who's only necessary job is raising her own children (for reals.)
Graphic novelist.
Couture fashion designer.
Hip hop d.j. (who is ultra-good at scratching.)


4. I eat brown bananas on a regular basis to prove to myself that I can.



5. I am allergic to all metals, with the exception of titanium and platinum. I wear only plastic or wooden earrings as you'll see here (photo by Karisa Price):

I am also allergic to my tears. Nobody believes me, but I get little rashy trails where they fall down my cheeks if I don't wipe them off quickly enough. I prefer to cry in the shower.


6. I am a part of a demographic, but I don't know anyone else in it. I discovered this one day on thegiantpeach.com. They've got my pinned. I would buy everything off this website if I could.


7. I would marry this guy if he were mormon:








here's why: